The wife and I pissed off to the states for our ten year wedding anniversary. An unfortunate time what with our first Champions League encounter versus Dortmund, which we lost 2-0 and looked bollocks to boot. Southampton knocking us out of the league cup, doing Villa 3-0 and with the boy Welbeck netting his first goal as a Gooner and then the North London Derby. The shits took the lead, revelled in it and then Oxlade Chamberlain brought them back to reality, fuckin’ twats that they are, that finished 1-1.
A lot of games missed, but ten years is ten years and the lady is not a football fan. Handy had organised a chance to renew our vows at a Chapel with Elvis wedding us. It was was all going swimmingly, until Handy’s trip kicked in and he started screaming, “You aint Elvis, liar, liar, liar. You aint Elvis, you’re a shit eating c**t.” Handy made his way to the alter pushed me to the floor, pulled his cock out and urinated all over the King’s blue suede shoes.
Back home now after deportation. Handy has apologised to my wife and me by giving us a teddy bear, holding a foil balloon which says sorry on it. Handy is a complete c**t.